


The Leptin Factor

by pxndxmonxm



Series: Inside Out and Outside In (Who I am and Where I've Been) [1]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Middle School, Eating Disorders, Gen, Trigger warning: Eating disorder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-09
Updated: 2015-12-09
Packaged: 2018-05-05 18:25:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5385875
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pxndxmonxm/pseuds/pxndxmonxm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>leptin: from greek λεπτός (leptos); thin. </p>
<p>Middle School may very well be the origin of all bad habits. In the case of Felicity Smoak, it starts with Helena Bertinelli, but it doesn't stop there.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Leptin Factor

**Author's Note:**

> To be clear: I have no direct self-experience with an eating disorder, so what I have is based off of the experiences of people close to me, and my own research. Please do not take anything I say for fact, this is fairly subjective material, and the experience differs from person to person.  
> Also: This story (as aforementioned) contains an eating disorder. If that is a trigger for you, please do not continue. I wrote this partially to help myself work through some things involving a very close friend of mine, and not with the intention of forcing it upon anybody.  
> In the Future: I believe this will have multiple parts, with Felicity moving, meeting the gang, and eventual Olicity. However, before there is any sort of HEALTHY relationship, there is pretty clearly some things that must be worked through. This does not mean Oliver will not feature at all (though he does not in this work), but that his presence and relationship with Felicity revolve around her, not him. This is a Felicity-centric story, and while I intend for Oliver to be a very big part of that, he is not the main focus.  
> Side Note: I do not own Arrow, or it's characters.   
> Finally (!): This is my first ever fanfic, and this is the first draft, so all inevitable mistakes are mine. Just a warning ;)

Felicity grew up in billboard Vegas, with skinny showgirls and slim tourists making their way into the background of her home. Her relationship with food had always been healthy, maybe her relationship with exercise a little less so, but her first and only care was for school. She still had the mind to go running on the weekends, did some core workouts while watching Netflix, etc. While not the tiniest girl in the 8th grade, she was still very firmly on the side of thin. Healthy, but not obsessive. Either way, it never mattered to her. All she cared about was getting out of Vegas and into one of the renowned, pretentious prep schools in Starling City. 

Test week before summer break, the tests that would qualify her for the school of her dreams, she had been prone to snacking while studying. Not enough to the extent which it would by physically noticeable, but if someone passing by happened to glimpse at her, they would notice her eating a little more than usual, a bag of chips studying math, popcorn for advanced coding, vanilla yogurt for art history. 

Helena Bertinelli was the skinniest girl in the 8th grade. Growing up with her rich and privileged lifestyle, she learned at a young age the art of looking presentable. Part of looking presentable was looking skinny. Because of this, girls and boys alike flocked to her. Maybe that's what drove her, all of the superiority going to her head. She liked to see perfection in everyone and everything around her. That included the waist size of her friends. Part of being presentable was also being well-educated, and smart, so she had befriended Felicity in the 7th grade, after her family moved to Vegas, in order to maintain her grades. 

Helena noticed Felicity’s recent munching habits, and made it her personal goal to discourage them. 

“Felicity, I think you might want to cut back on the chocolate, your stomach’s starting to look a little round…”

“Felicity, don’t scarf down lunch like that, it’s unladylike. You can get back to your studying in due time.”

“Felicity, do you maybe want to consider skipping breakfast tomorrow morning? You look like you could use it.” 

“Ok, Felicity, this is getting ridiculous. Give me your lunch. I’m throwing it away.”

Felicity was slowly deteriorating, the stress from testing making her all too susceptible to Helena’s prompts. She gradually started to eat less and less, to an unhealthy degree, spending her free time pulling her shirt up and standing sideways to look in the mirror and search for the little bump that Helena insisted was there. At first she didn’t see it, but as she listened to her friend more and more, she became somewhat aware of a possible packet of flesh nestled right where her stomach was. Whether or not she was imagining it, she had no idea, but she figured it was better safe than sorry. The week of testing she skipped breakfast and lunch, eating an apple before the exam, and a light dinner with her mother to keep her from noticing or worrying. 

After testing, Felicity thought the stress would fade, but instead it only became more heightened due to the anticipation of seeing her results. The following weekend, she went to the mall with Helena and another friend, China. Each girl spent their time comparing size 2 dresses for the spring formal, while Felicity fit more comfortably into a 4. Helena told her to spin around in her dress, and China told her it was pretty. But when they checked the tag, saw the size, they immediately encouraged her to put it back on the shelf and hunt for something smaller. When she tried the dress in a size 2, it constricted her chest, and dug into her thighs. Helena was disappointed. 

“Didn’t I tell you not to eat breakfast this morning? Didn’t I tell you not to stuff your face with a bar chocolate after that final test? God, Felicity. Why do I even bother. Come along, there’s only one way to fix this.”

The other girls completed their purchases at the counter, then rode back to Helena’s house and escorted Felicity upstairs and into the bathroom. 

“Okay, stick your finger down your throat.” 

“What? No! That has to be unhealthy.”

China groaned. 

“It’s the only way we can solve this, Felicity. You don’t want to be seen at the formal toting an extra five pounds, do you?”

“Well…no, but surely there must be a safer option than forcing myself to vomit, right? Like, why don’t I just exercise more this month?”

Helena scoffed. 

“Yeah, sure, but we’re on a time crunch, and no other option is more efficient. Remember, Felicity, how you look doesn’t just reflect you, but the people who raised you, the people you’re friends with. You don’t want your mother to be ashamed of you, do you?”

Before she had left with her friends that morning, her mother had jokingly advised that she purchase something a little flirty-er than usual. Felicity didn’t often attend these dances, but being in the same friend circle as Helena, it was essentially a requirement. At the time, her mother’s suggestion had felt silly, even complementary, the idea that she had something to show off. But now, Felicity resented the comment, feeling like her mother was mocking her. 

“Okay, fine.”

She crouched above the toilet, hyper aware of Helena and China’s eyes on her back. She raised a finger, hesitated, then prodded at her throat, reaching farther back. She stopped, feeling repulsed. 

“Here, use this.” Helena handed her a toothbrush. 

Felicity took it, stared at it, and quickly triggered her gag reflex as Helena and China left the bathroom. She avoided looking at her vomit in the toilet as she flushed, avoided thinking about the ache in her stomach, avoided her own eyes in the mirror as she left the bathroom. 

She did this multiple days a week, for the month before the formal. On days she didn’t, she made sure to eat no more than a meal a day, coupled with a light snack. She tried to follow her own advice and exercise, but even her regular core workouts were too much for her fatigued body to handle. Instead she walked, stood, as much as possible, and drank water near-constantly. 

Her results came in, perfect scores, along with her acceptance into Starling City Prep. 

By the time the formal came around, she was a size 0, and could vomit without the toothbrush.

**Author's Note:**

> Advice/Reviews in the form of comments are my lifeblood! Thank you for taking the time to read, it is much appreciated.


End file.
